Comments for Let Life In

Comment on Heterosexual Boomer Women Moving in Together by dancer1948

dancer1948 — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:41:08 +0000

I think this is a great idea and a trend that will take off quickly. I am contemplating moving from VA to FL and living with one of my friends in here condo. Living alone isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and people need companionship. It’s also a good financially for all involved and I think having “roomies” will help keep us younger.

Comment on Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. by shauna

shauna — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:38:31 +0000

I need to know how I can convince my husband that adopting a SECOND grandchild is better for all of us, especially the toddler and his 9 year old half-brother. We find ourselves in the position once again of both parents back into the drug life, and we are raising the baby. We adopted our 9 yr old grandson when he was 4, after getting custody at age 2. We swore we would never raise another child after him. (We are in our mid-50′s) We were determined not to get attached to anymore babies fathered by our addict son, but circumstances changed. Our son was doing well, holding down a job and his apartment, etc. When baby was 6 weeks old, his wife was sent to prison for a year. We let him and baby move in with us, cuz he had no real “baby-skills” and could not afford apt and childcare. So basically the baby has lived with us his entire life, and he is now 18 months old. When his mom got out of prison, they had a hard time bonding, even though I had taken him for weekly visits to see her in prison. Both parents immediately went right back into drug use when she got out. We have now had baby with us, with no parental contact due to drug use..(and they have warrants).. fort he last month. We will file for guardianship ASAP, but my husband still does not want to raise another young child. I think it would be extremely detrimental to the baby and to our 9 year old, if we were to just give him up to foster care. How do you explain to a young boy that you are giving up his baby brother, who he has been with nearly every day of the baby’s life, and raised together? Plus, I don’t think I could live with myself. Does anyone have any statistics on a situation like this, or any words that will make my husband see that
WE are the baby’s family, and the only home and family he has ever known, and it would be WRONG to just give him away? PLEASE! Any help is appreciated!

Comment on 10 Ways to Handle Grief by katy

katy — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 05:36:58 +0000

We just lost our little girl last week and its just been so devastating to deal with. One minute she here running around and the next we found her dead on the street. Nobody knows if she was beaten or hit by a car. Everywhere we are reminded of her. We packed up her toys and bed nut still can’t put closure on this. The funeral was nice but one of the hardest things I’ve done. Still see her sweet face and think she just going to wake up. we thought we’d have a long and happy life to enjoy but tragically that didn’t happen. We’d give anything to have her back. Reading these steps helps to guide us but we’re in a fog. It seems sudden tragic deaths to someone young is harder than an older person who had a life to live with years. I’m back at work but it’s hard when someone brings it up. I keep thinking I’ll be stronger but I just fall apart. Time heals but it’s a slow slow process.

Comment on 5 Ways to Conquer Empty Nest Syndrome by re_joyce

re_joyce — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 11:53:29 +0000

Nothing replaces family. Activities are distractions which do not cure loss, but get the mind away from the lost relationships. Relationships get renewed, yet there is a sense of joy with caution as your adult children must be let go again. It is a cycle of grieving and growth…for us and for them. A mother’s love is challenged to supercede all hurt. That love cries out. That love will triumph again and again as grief passes periodically…it is the role of motherhood…the most important role in human relationships.
Comfort is found in the hope of a God who accompanies our children in their journey in life as ‘He’ accompanies us. Hope is found in that divine enveloping love which encompasses mother and child creating ‘home’ … a place where mother and child will always be together. I am 67 years old … the empty nest syndrome is on-going… yet so is our love which never ceases to be challenged to expand.

Comment on Step-Grandparenting:Like Grandparenting, only Different by Confused in Florida

Confused in Florida — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 01:47:48 +0000

When a “step” grandparent divorces a grandparent, the ties should be cut with the grandchildren especially at a younger age & explained that they no longer live in the same house. I would find it very difficult for the original grandparent to have to be around his/her ex as very difficult and unnecessary. If you divorce the spouse and you are a “step” with any of her/his family, then you need to cut ties with his/her family too. Why confuse especially younger children? A divorce is a divorce especially in a “step” situation.

Comment on Step-Grandparenting:Like Grandparenting, only Different by Confused in Florida

Confused in Florida — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 01:38:56 +0000

Your comment that an “infant have 6 or seven grandparents, a child should be so lucky to have so many people to love them and care for them” may be true for persons but there were only 2 mothers and 2 fathers that bore those parents and then outsiders want to claim a title after marrying in to the family after the grandchildren are born is ridiculous. What is wrong with the grandchildren calling the spouses to their actual grandmothers or grandfathers be called by their first names? They still can love those grandchildren too but keep the grandchildren aware of who their “actual” grandparents are with their titles. Why confuse them? …just love them too without the title needing to be attached and not deserving.

Comment on Step-Grandparenting:Like Grandparenting, only Different by Confused in Florida

Confused in Florida — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 01:30:11 +0000

I agree with your daughter that there should only be 2 grandmothers & 2 grandfathers and no more. It isn’t about excluding the step-grandparents at all nor like/dislike even an issue but gives the actual grandparents a special place of honor for their grandchildren. The grandchildren should call the step-grandparents by their first names (or whatever nicknames other than Grandma/Grandpa…) and when old enough will also know that they are married to their grandmother or grandfather and give respect as married to their grandmother or grandfather. I believe that having 8 (or anything additional than the original 4) would be more confusing to particularly younger grandchildren. Let the real grandparents have those special titles that only they should have and keep the married spouses to the original grandparents as that only. I feel your ex-husband is not considering the title of the real grandparents at all. His wife should not even want to be considered a grandparent as she isn’t but married to the grandfather of those children!

Comment on Step-Grandparenting:Like Grandparenting, only Different by Confused in Florida

Confused in Florida — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 13:48:06 +0000

I have a very confusing situation that has been a problem in my family for 40 years now. My full sister married my ex-husband following an affair that started prior to our divorce. Obviously a very difficult situation right from the start for the family. My 2 sons were at the time of their marriage ages 1 year and 4 years old. My older son married in the late 90s and their wedding program showed on my son’s side as 3 parents: My name first, then his father’s and then my sister’s (as a parent too!). I was very upset but trying to avoid showing at the wedding but did acknowledge that it was in very poor taste that my invitation was sent to my other sister’s address since I had moved a few months prior (even though my son spoke several times after my move on the telephone to me). Now after recently having the 3rd grandchild, I am having another very sensitive situation occur with my son and his South American wife having the children call the grandparents as Grandpa or Grandma (1st name) including my sister (who is, if there is such a title, would be a step-grandparent. My sister has a daughter and grandchildren of her own and does not share with her ex-husband as he has passed away when the daughter was about 8 years old. My ex-husband (and her husband now) recently had on my sister’s daughter’s wedding invitation as Mr. & Mrs. (my sister & ex-husband) and groom’s parents invite… and did not acknowledge the late father at all in the invitation. I later saw pictures only (as I was not invited even though her Aunt) with the title below as “Father and Daughter Dance.” I hold a lot of resentment with my sister and my ex-husband for the early years when I was basically tossed out of my house to find another one since my ex-husband’s family had given the money for the down-payment and I could not afford our car either with the small wages I was receiving at the time. At the same time my ex-husband was unemployed but his parents kept the payments made for the house during his unemployment. Fresh from my divorce I had 2 children (at age 22), needed to find another home to live in, another car, and my sister moved right in. I was not aware that they were even seeing each other until a week before the divorce was final, I found his car was parked at her house (she was already divorced at that time). My older son is now giving me a LOT of grief saying that I am being irrational about my sister being called, Grandma (1st name) and that there can’t be enough love in a family. I am not sure if the fact that my daughter-in-law being from South America as to whether they look at relationships differently or not. She is also a psychologist with a PhD so holds a lot of clout on how things should be handled in the family. lol I would like any comments and/or suggestions on the situation I am in now as a grandparent. I need to also mention that my daughter-in-law is also from a divorced family and her step-father also raised her as a small child and was also listed as a “parent” in their wedding brochure. Am I being too sensitive or am I right in feeling that there were only 2 people that produced the father (as parents) and only 2 grandparents that should be called Grandma & Grandpa? Your comments please and thank you SO much in advance!?

Comment on Prohibition Repealed: Real Beer Was Back! by paulthomse-23

paulthomse-23 — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 08:24:08 +0000

nice article

Comment on Is it Okay to Avoid Obnoxious Grandson? by Ineedyouradvice

Ineedyouradvice — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 22:21:12 +0000

I am 51 – and find my energy level just isn’t the same as when I was younger. I also have grandchildren, 9 – with 8 under the age of 5. When they come over, they move very fast. I find that my grandchildren act out in ways that my own children did not, for they were not allowed to. Parenting techniques are different today. I also find my children do not want my advice, so I must accept the way things are. Our children are good at letting us know what they will receive from us, they want us to be what they have envisioned us to be. I also realized that when my children were younger, their wants and needs were always put before mine. Now that they are grown, this viewpoint needed to change. You’re are not a convenience, you are mom. You should not be taken for granted. It may be necessary for you to politely excuse yourself from being a babysitter on demand, as mentioned before. Your life is your own, love your children and grandchildren, but don’t be taken for granted either.

Comment on Step-Grandparenting:Like Grandparenting, only Different by Ineedyouradvice

Ineedyouradvice — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 21:46:33 +0000

Why is it so hard for people to love? The grandfather is not the one who has a gap in his heart because of the loss of the beloved grandmother. Children love so freely, they don’t understand the boundaries that are drawn. It is not the child’s fault the married did not work; that belongs to the adults. I would encourage you to let your grand-daughter see mamaw. She will be happy to see her, and isn’t that the cry of your heart, that your grand-daughter be loved and cherished?

Comment on Step-Grandparenting:Like Grandparenting, only Different by Ineedyouradvice

Ineedyouradvice — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 21:43:32 +0000

I have three grown children, all married with children, nine of them. My first husband passed away in 2005, we were married for 26 years. When he passed, all of my children were on their own, with the exception of the youngest, she was in her junior year in college. I remarried a wonderful, accepting man in 2009. My son has totally embraced my husband but my daughters are having a difficult time with it. My son refers to my new husband as Poppa with his children, and they love him. He is wonderful with all of the grandchildren. My daughters, on the other hand, have decided that he is not a Poppa, the children’s Poppa is dead and they children have grandparents on their spouse’s side which is sufficient for them. I have talked with them about it, we have had heated arguments about it. I have told them I accepted their spouses as part of the family, embracing them completely – because my daughters love them..but they say it is different. I have cried many tears, when I hear my grandchildren speak of their Poppa or Grandpa, it pierces me in the heart. I do not speak of my dreams of a united family, I have been hurt so many times by their angry words, I don’t want to hurt anymore. The grandchildren range in ages 9 – 6 months; my daughters children are 5 and under. Have you experienced something similiar? Do yu have any advice?

Thank you,

Comment on Is it Okay to Avoid Obnoxious Grandson? by Mariah77

Mariah77 — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 02:38:05 +0000

Appreciate your grandkids while you have them, because know one knows how long where going to have them, I had mine for 3 years. That wasn’t long enough for me.

Comment on Is it Okay to Avoid Obnoxious Grandson? by Mariah77

Mariah77 — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 02:31:46 +0000

You know All I see are alot of grandparents complaining about watching thier grandchildren or complain that thier kids want them to babysit all the time. When my daughter had her baby I was so happy and I never complained about watching him. I had him the majority of the time. On April 4,2011 my grandson chrisopher was diagnosed with Nueroblastoma Cancer at 2 1/2 yrs.ol. He had it for 7 months and passed away Nov. 7,2011. He was my only grandchild and I dont have one anymore, I would give anything just to hold him, watch him and hear him cry. I can’t see why grandparents have to complain. I’m grateful those 3 years I had christopher, I got to have him the mojority of the time.And now it’s lonely at my house.

Comment on 5 Ways to Conquer Empty Nest Syndrome by ekimballde

ekimballde — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 04:54:14 +0000

My son (and my only child) went to college when he was 18, and except for a month or two here and there when he was in between school or jobs he has lived away from home. He was a very clingy, needy child and I worked very hard to help him find ways to be independent. The saying “answered prayers cause more tears than unanswered ones” is certainly true here. We have a good relationship, he lives about 25 miles away, I do see him a few times a month and we talk at least a few times a week on the phone, but my loneliness doesn’t seem to subside, even now that almost 5 years have gone by. My husband has been ill on and off, and I almost lost him two years ago to cardiac arrest, and a beloved family pet died a few months after my husband’s cardiac event. I’ve had a lot of loss lately, and I don’t seem to be able to recover fully from it. I’m trying to make the most of every day and find the joy, and I do have a lot to be grateful for, but it is very, very difficult. I’m 58, and find this stage of life very challenging.