The How-to of Long Distance Grandparenting

By Carol Hutcheson

Not so funny joke

A six year old was asked where his grandma lived. He said, “Oh, she lives at the airport and when we want her we just go get her. Then when we are done having her visit we take her back to the airport.:

A few years ago, one of our daughters made a “Family DVD” as part of a gift for our 40^th wedding anniversary. It was a work of art complete with subtitles and music. It showed Grandma (me) and Grandpa (my husband) as children growing up in our respective towns, turning into rather cute teenagers with our friends and cars, meeting each other, falling in love, and marrying. Then it showed our children coming along, growing up in various houses, family trips and adventures, and family talents and hobbies.

Guess who loves the DVD as much as we do? The grandkids! The DVD gives the younger generation a historical prospective of their roots in entertainment form. My youngest daughter told me last week that after watching the DVD, her little boy cried, “I miss Grandma and Grandpa!” That made me especially happy since they are 800 miles away from us and I don’t see them but every six months or so. My daughter didn’t realize what a great tool the DVD would be in helping us keep connected with the grandkids.

Meeting the Challenge for Long Distance Grandparenting

Society has spread families across the continent and sometimes around the world. For grandparents, it is a challenge to keep close relationships with their children and grandchildren. Grandparents have to make the first and continuing efforts to keep the relationship alive.

Monthly letters or emails keep love flowing. It probably goes without saying that grandparents should remember birthdays and achievements. Tuck in those cards a stick of gum, a stylized ‘band aid”, a dollar for an ice cream cone, and don’t forget an occasional photo of you. Chatting on the phone is also important so the grandkids actually recognize your voice.

Technology is both a blessing and a curse.

Technology used properly, can help us stay in touch. Some websites like www.Myfamily.com can bring families closer by providing a venue for conversation, for posting photos, sharing recipes, and recounting the latest adventure, problem, or achievement. You need to be careful about some sites which are not secure or which expose children to predators. I would not recommend Myspace.com.

Family Reunions

Family reunions bring scattered family members together and need to be planned well in advance so as many as possible can attend. Grandparents, while they may be planning or hosting the event, need to schedule time just to play with the kids. Being overly concerned with activities or organization may defeat your purpose of just growing close together by spending unstructured time together. And sometimes the greatest of all gifts for a young struggling family is financial help in getting to the reunion.

Try Creating a game that Acquaints the Family

I’m currently in process of designing a crossword puzzle about cousins for our family reunion. The clues will be based on favorites of the kids: What is Tom’s favorite color…TV show, song, movie, book, sport. What did Tom do last year that was really great? It’s easy to make a crossword by going to www.puzzlemaker.com.

Whatever effort the grandparents make will be pay off in keeping connected with the next generation. There is not a sweeter sound than the grandchild saying “I miss Grandma and Grandpa.” <<

Carol Hutcheson is a retired high school English teacher. She claims her greatest accomplishment lies in rearing six successful children and being grandma to eighteen grandchildren. Her partner in that enterprise is her husband, Don, to whom she has been married forty-two years. She can be reached at Carol@LetLifeIn.com