There’s 2 (or more) People Living Inside Your Head

By Roy Klein

Something like this has probably happened to you: You’re doing your weekly grocery shopping, about to pick up your usual breakfast cereal – shredded wheat. Out of the corner of your eye, though, you see a new cereal on the shelf – chocolate brownie oats. You suddenly can’t decide between the two. Before you know it, twenty minutes have elapsed and you’re still standing there, completely paralyzed by your hopeless indecisiveness.

Don’t panic.

There’s no need to go to a neurologist for a brain scan. No reason to start a ten-year course of psychoanalysis. I can fix this for you right now. Just take a deep breath, relax and listen.

You see, there are at least two people living inside your head.

One is a sober, conservative, boring adult, whose voice probably sounds a lot like that of your critical parent when you were a kid. He (or she) is the one telling you to buy the shredded wheat.The other person is immature, irresponsible and impulsive. In other words, you as a little kid. Don’t be afraid of him (or her). It’s just your inner child. And he’s the one clamoring for the chocolate brownie oats.

Critical parent vs. inner child

You’re probably not consciously aware of this, but your critical parent and inner child are arguing inside you all the time. The problems come when they debate to an impasse. And this doesn’t just happen over cereal. It could be about what clothes to wear, what job to take, what car to buy, even what person to marry. They could bicker endlessly over every single daily decision in your life.

Introducing a third person – you!

The way to break the standstill is to introduce a third person into the mix. A fair-minded mediator. You! In my case, I visualize myself inside my head as a football referee, complete with hat, striped shirt and whistle. Some other image may work better for you.Anyway, you have the mediator negotiate with the other two: “How about we buy both the shredded wheat and the chocolate brownie oats, and eat them on alternative days? Good. Let’s all shake on it.”

Mini-van vs. sports car

Or, “Take the mini-van. When the oldest kid graduates from college, we’ll get us a sports car. Fine, inner child, the minivan can be fire engine red. Okay, critical parent, the sports car doesn’t have to be a convertible. I’ll draw this up into a contract and we’ll all sign it.”

The merging of the critical parent and the inner child

This may take some effort at first, but eventually you’ll find that the critical parent and inner child have both merged into the referee to become a single psyche – a fully integrated version of you. How cool will that be!

The crowded head

It hasn’t quite worked out that way for me yet. In fact, more and more people keep showing up in my head. Right now, there are 20, not including the mediator. At this point, I’m hoping for two more. Then, I can have football games up there. After all, I already have the referee. I’m just looking for a place to build a stadium. Unfortunately, there’s some resistance from the frontal lobe community, which wants to keep its park.

But I think we’re close to a major breakthrough with you. With just a little guidance, you’ll be able to use this method to conquer all your problems in life. For example…Oh, I’m sorry. Our time is up for today. That will be $450 ($150 for each of you). See you next week. <<

For other articles by Roy Klein visit his website www.RoyKlein.com. For further information on Roy visit the websites for his law practice (Loorak.com) and his arbitrator/mediator practice (Limacs.org).