By Laura Meade
How old are you now? If you’re reading this article on “Let Life In’ you are most likely past 50. And men, if you haven’t gotten it by now, it’s time you realized that women are different than men.
For the most part, when a man has sex his ultimate goal is orgasm. Everything he does during sex is geared to achieve it. Once he’s had it, he’s finished. He’s been a good lover. Good Night.
Women are not like that.
For a Woman, the Entire Experience Is what It’s All About
What women crave more than the orgasm is love and intimacy. That’s very difficult for men to understand. Women enjoy the closeness and the feeling of having the man spiritually with her as well as having him inside her. Yes, women enjoy sex and their orgasms but sometimes, they say, just being with a man is enough. She wants to be held and caressed and told how much she is loved and appreciated. She wants to know she’s pleasing the man and that he loves being with her, and her alone.
She wants to feel that it is she that is making him high, not a few drinks or a joint.
Foreplay is More Than Physical
A woman’s body not only needs physical foreplay before she is “in the mood” but her soul needs to be primed as well. She wants the man to feel it’s the sex with her that he wants -and not just the sex.
What is ‘Afterplay?’
A woman doesn’t want the sexual experience to end with his orgasm. Or even her orgasm. She wants him to remain for a while, both physically and emotionally. She wants that time so that she can fall even more in love with the man than she already is. If the man leaves too soon, he also will miss out on that opportunity.
In those final few minutes she would like to hear him say that she was great and once more hear him say, “I love you.”
So What Do Men Get Out of It?
For one thing, a sexual experience that two people are enjoying is richer and more enjoyable for both of you. It’s never too late to learn that. If you care enough to want to have sex with someone you’ll feel good about truly satisfying her.
And keep in mind, a woman who enjoys sex more will very likely want it more often. <<
If you enjoyed this article read:
Afterplay: Think of it as Dessert
Laura Meade is the author of the forthcoming book, “How Women can Get Everything they Want and Need.”
I am sure that women have been craving for more than an orgasm since they started having sex. I think that after 50 we are more concious about what sex really is for us. It’s not about penetration, but the whole art of lovemaking that includes sensuality, seduction, and the “after math”. Romance is everything, sex is great when our ears are filled with loving whispers and our partner’s ability to make us feel special is the clue.
According to this, I guess I’m not only a woman but also a man! I need the love and intimacy, but ALSO the orgasm or else I feel incomplete.
If I show her how much I love just being in bed with her,it don’t matter if I only last 2 or 3 min.?
For me, at 53, I have experienced new and exciting things and my partner was honest about how he felt. The most important part of having a great sex life is communication. As I stated on my website, I thank my partner for being open with me and helping me learn more about myself then I ever thought possible.
I am a monogamous woman who really enjoys sex, but I am married to a polyamorous man who had an open marriage with his late wife. He loves me, but he lost interest in sex with me a long time ago. He would not understand this article. Sex for him is just sex and it’s meant to be done in groups. It’s about being kinky, not loving. I even viewed porn with him for several year to create some kind of sex life with him. But it just doesn’t work for him or me. This leaves me feeling lonely and inadequate. I wonder how many woman find themselves in this kind of relationship?
Pam,
I fell sorry for you as am a 49 year old man that is in a reletionship with a 55 tear old woman and we are having the time of our lives.you need to dump the ass-hole and find a real man. We are out there!!!!!!!!!!!!! If You really want happieness you will dump the ass-hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You want the God’s honest truth? I read articles like this, and I just wanta be dead.
[...] recent article we ran on “What Women Crave More than Orgasm” elicited many letters. Here are [...]
I believe in some of the things I read about what a woman really wants; however I wonder if women really know what they want?
I’ve been married a long time, and have tried all the tricks and ideas, and even the ones that came directly from my wife, and I feel like it is hopeless no matter what a guy does.
I really don’t believe any of the things mentioned in this article, they have proven at least in my situation to be false advice. Women will never connect with men the way men want them to is the real problem. We hear too much about what a guy needs to and so on and on. Women need the advice now men have been hearing it and doing it for years so give us our turn now ok.
iam a woman aged 50 and my partner is 6 years younger.i enjoy sex but often indulge in sex to keep my partener’s intrest alive in me and in my body and to prevent him from looking for sex elsewhere.i require my partner more emotionally rather than physically
Totally Experiencing A Flower Is Already Orgasmic
Life Is A Gift,Leaving Out Orgasm As A Statement For Fullfillment Without Realisation Of The Gift is Even More Perverted Then Lying….
Laura,
Your Conscience Must Have Been Full Of Fear And
Feelings Of Isolation,When You Wrote This…
In Love The Words Are Afterthoughts…
Best Regards,
My wife is 50 I’m 51 what sex drive she had is gone we may have sex once a month. This may seem odd but I enjoy sex more the more orgasms she has. I get her to have at least two before I go inside her. She used to be wet most of the time now she is not. This has been like this for about two years. I need sex more than once a month. I’ve talked to her about it, and she say I can have it anytime I want. But she is not into it at all. If I can’t feel her shake and feel the warmth I don’t want to just get on get off. Any thoughts???
It depends. varies from person to person as these are all multifactorial an depends how much knowledge one has about sex and having an orgasm as men take less time and mostly they fall asleep after evacuating and women takes some more time to get orgasm and mostly don’t express themselves due to the social stigma attached to sex in most of the conservative societies.Health education plays an imp. role in making the society understand and help a woman have healthy sex……
I am 57. I knock myself out trying to be phyically attractive: keep trim, well-defined muscular physique. But its doesn’t do me any good. Women I meet just want companionship (I already have plenty of guy friends), or they want a free dinner, or free entertainment at my expense.
However, what really prompted my reply is the frustration of how women make controling men their #1 top priority. I enjoy romance, companionship, warmth, sharing, in a long-term relationship, but I still need variety sexually. Even the most beautiful woman can’t provide variety. If I am willing to be with a woman as much and whenever she wants to be together with her, why should she care what I do when I am not with her?!!
When women insist on monogamy, even when they are not around the man, what they really want is to control the man. But such control is entirely against the most basic human nature of a man. When a woman insists on monogamy even when she is not together with the man, then the man should insist that she also eat the exact same food with no variety at every meal (in order to have a bit of empathy for the pain she imposes on the average guy).
Normalguy, I’m inclined to wonder whether ‘Steve’ was referring to you in his reply to Pam.
I’m sorry, but 57? Puuuleeease! Either you’ve gone through life with your eyes closed to anything but “Me, myself and I”, or your immaturity belies your age.
Recommend daily doses of reality checks.
Isis
just curious about this article ? I have been married to a senior woman differ 10 years, i am about 50 . i still make sex as a weekly basis , i am sure all of the men reaching 50′s have a bigger sex drive thru the woman , even she older than me !!!!!
as i always look thru the duration with her , it seem’s that she will prefer me to do the simple way to relax & enjoy it !!!!, i do lubricate the play to make it simple & easy ,
the only lapse play we had . she feel that is going the turmoil , & bore with it.
i just some answer if she is having this turmoil of sex ? i hope you will answer me if have this matter gone thru !!!!
Is there any women over 50 years old who are interested in just old fashioned love making?
This article is an eye opener for some of the ladies who feel that sex has to done upto a certain age that too as a dutiful wife. If they start following the hints in your article they going to benefit both themselves and their partners. Theywill not only enhance their sexual pleasure but also get more and more love from their partners, thus becoming more desirable and make their lives more happy and worth living.
I am a 50 year old woman and I love orgasms, but equally important is for a man to show interest in a lady with verbal and nonverbal communication. When a man smiles pleasingly at me, when his manly voice is deeper than mine,or when he towers over me with a look that he wants me, When he looks me in the eye when he talks to me with gentleness, when he gets close in my circle to speak to me, when he calls me pet names such as sweetheart, When the tone in his voice emits sexy undertones, when he is even tempered and easygoing, when he comes across confidently, when he shows respect for me as a woman, when he shows interest in what i have to say, when he talks to me about things of interest….. All of these things add up to make me and it makes me want to have passionate sex with him.
I am soon to be 53. My husband will be 60 in January. We should be divorced by we’re not. He has not made love to me in over 3 years. He has tried Viagra but even then, he is not interested. I am staying for financial reasons. I work and make more than what he does (he’s retired) but my self-esteem is so low, I can’t imagine that anyone else would want me.
i am 46 had heart sergery a pacer defubelater in december i havent had sex in 7 monthswhith my wife i want to but she doesent show interesti dont know what to do she says she loves me but need advice
You are wrong saying that men just like to have orgasm. There are men , like myself who love to let the partner to have orgasm first and whether I have or not is imaterial. The fact to see my partner enjoy sex and have orgasm gives me more joy and excitement than I have it myself. For another fact, that once I repeatedly takes care of her first, she will come to me for a long time to come rather than a one night stand.
I am 59 now. Over 40 years ago my parents seperated. I had a man who took the place of my father. He told me many times that women are not like us. That foreplay and afterplay are important. I have always tried to remember that. I am partially paralyzed now and know that if I have a sexual rendevous that the woman will be on top and in control. I have no problem with that.
Pam, Woman created by God. They are to be loved and care for. I LOve my lady whatever I do with her in bed, I make sure she enjoys it to the fullest and feel been loved very much. You continue to love him show him doesn’t matter she go on. Most important pray.
This notion that a man’s ultimate goal during sex is orgasm simply isn’t true.
As a man, I love touching, kissing and, frankly, long strenuous, intense, sweaty sex. I’m not in the least in a hurry to orgasm.
My parents seperated when I was 12. That was 1964. In November of 1966 I met my Big Brother of America. He told me many times over the next 12 years that women are not like us. If you take it slow and you will be rewarded. If there is ever anything you are not sure of than ask her what she wants or likes.