Older Women Dating Younger Men

By Tom Blake

Women who are over fifty and date younger men think society disapproves. Some California readers shared their experiences and reasons why they do it.

Leslie A., Huntington Harbor, CA
“Dating younger men has lots of advantages. They are full of energy and optimism, and have a zest for life. They exercise and have great bodies. “Money never seems to be the problem (with younger men). I take dating seriously, and have yet to have a bad date.”

Loria L., San Juan Capistrano, CA
“Guys my age don’t e-mail back because they want someone younger. Guess what, so do I? The younger ones can keep up with me. “I e-mailed a fellow who made a typo error and he turned out to be my son’s age, and when I told him, he said, ‘I have a mother your age, and it doesn’t bother me.’ At least he can stay up past 10p.m. And he likes to do things besides sit and watch TV. I say go for it ladies and who cares what other people think? It’s your life. Older men are worried about their money and anyone invading their space,” said Loria.

Linda A., Dana Point, CA
She says she tried newspaper ads, but “men lie about their age.” “Tell older women if they see a younger man looking at them, don’t ignore him. He might be interested.”

Karen Robinson, Rancho Santa Margarita, CA
“I’ve dated younger men, and find it refreshing. They are more exciting and spontaneous than older men, which I like. Older men can be too regimented. Why is an older woman ridiculed by society for dating a younger man?”

What Tom Blake has to say:
One of the major complaints I hear from women fifty-plus is “Where are the men our age?” Who can blame those women for looking to other age groups for companionship? I have heard women say younger men treat them with more respect than the older guys.

Are there drawbacks?
Women may get used to it. Younger men might date older women for reasons other than love. “What?” you scream. Do money, assets, and security come to mind? So, maybe he’s using her, but, all things considered, perhaps she’s using him. Sounds like a users tradeoff.

Then, there is always the possibility she might worry that a younger woman will steal him away. Older women dating younger men seem to enjoy the “fling” aspect for the short term. However, they tend to hedge about the long term. There are concerns about the difference in life’s experiences, goals, and maturity levels. I believe that couples with an age gap can have wonderful relationships–it is how closely they think together that matters, and whether they enjoy each other’s presence. From that aspect, I agree with Loria. Go for it, and don’t worry about what others say.

Overall, I feel in the long run, women and men who date people closer to their age have a better chance of building a long-term relationship <<

Tom Blake is the author of Middle Aged and Dating Again. Tom also writes a weekly column for The Orange County Register.