By (Name withheld)
I know that must sound terrible.
Let me explain.
I’m 53 years old and I’ve been married and divorced twice. I had two children with my first wife (a son in college and a married daughter). With my second wife, I have one teenage son who is finishing prep school. By and large, they are great kids and I love them very much.
So Far, So Good
That’s not to say it’s been easy. We’ve had some drug issues with my oldest son and my daughter got pregnant 2 years before she married (not the man who fathered the child). My youngest son recently told us that he’s gay. In addition, he suffers from depression and was diagnosed with ADHD.
I think I’m a good father. I’m understanding, and fortunate to have enough money to provide for them well. I’ve changed diapers, spent time with them doing homework, and have gone to soccer practice. Where I may have fallen short, and have always felt tremendous guilt about, is the amount of time I was away from them. I hold an executive position in a large corporation and travel a great deal. Often my schedules were unpredictable.
Enter the Future Trophy Wife
I met Julie (not her real name) shortly after my second divorce, about a year and a half ago. We love each other and have decided to get married. Julie is quite attractive, has never been married and she is twenty six years younger than I am.
She has a successful career as an advertising executive and earns a respectable salary. She’s quite attentive to my needs and frankly, my sex life has never been better. She makes me feel like a kid again. She admits she likes to take care of me and I have to admit I like it.
Okay, What’s The Deal?
The one stipulation I’ve made before committing to marriage, and I hold firm on, is that Julie had to agree not to start a family. She said she was willing to sign a prenuptial agreement promising that. It may sound selfish but I want to be the most important person in her life. I don’t want to share that position with children. I know from experience how demanding of your time they can be.
What Does She Get Out Of It?
In return, I promised I would make her feel financially secure and provide her with an exciting lifestyle — trips to Paris and Rome; vacations in Aspen and St. Bart, dinners with stimulating and interesting people.
(I’m counting on the theory that marrying a high-powered, handsome, somewhat wealthy and well educated man can be very seductive and a powerful aphrodisiac).
What Are The Odds It’ll Work?
I know of several other men with similar circumstances as myself. They all have ex-wives, and two or more children, and have married younger attractive women who have agreed not to have children. The men all say their wives are quite happy with the arrangement.
I’ve read that matrimonial agreements with no-child clauses are becoming more frequent. In actuality, these types of agreements are difficult to enforce and very few have actually gone to litigation.
I’m sure that the agreements are more to define the expectations of the marriage. (In our agreement there is actually an acknowledgement that states the provision probably would not hold up in court).
Nevertheless, I’m sticking with my convictions and sincerely hope Julie stays happy, and that she doesn’t change her mind about not having children.
Here’s to Trophy Wives
I know it appears that I’m only thinking of myself. Maybe I am. All I want is the romantic relationship I feel I’ve missed during my first two marriages. And if marrying a beautiful younger woman and having no children will do it, so be it. <<
What’s your opinion? Let us know. (anonymously if you wish, or ask to have your name withheld.).
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