JB: So, what’s up?
AP (Aging Penis): Is that your attempt at humor? Not funny! The future has me worried. Kinda like the housing market. The forecast is soft.
JB: Sorry. I should have known that it’s hard, uh, difficult looking into an uncertain future. But, you’ve compared your concern to the housing market. Are you prepared for…well, for a down market? A stash of Cialis?
AP: You mean a pharmaceutical splint? Not for me.
JB: Really? You’re not going along with the crowd…?
AP: Wanna get personal here? I’m still tempted to stay with the Stand Tall approach. But, why not let my team—fingers, tongue, eyes, and words—do some of the work? I’m not into heavy lifting anymore. That’s for kids who don’t know any better!
JB: But what about vaginas who expect you to show up and be, you know, your old frisky self?
AP: That’s the first smart question you’ve asked! It’s not just about adjusting my expectations; it’s about hers as well. Too many vaginas are using my response to them as a report card of their attractiveness. Bulletin: It’s not about you! I’m trying to move away from the “proving myself” attitude and into the “enjoying myself” attitude. Can’t do both, so lighten up!
JB: Interesting, but what about intercourse, don’t you have to be…don’t you need a certain firmness? If not in your attitude, at least in your, how do I say this…in your posture?
AP: Intercourse is over-rated! Touching, licking, laughing and sucking aren’t bad at all—add a glass or two of red wine and it’s a party! This isn’t to say that old-time fucking is passé, far from it. But why consider anything less a failure? And, while we’re talking candidly, something vaginas need to know—if I’m a little shy and I don’t come (fully) out to play, please, please, don’t give me an Oprah moment. The timing sucks! Just get over it, don’t take it personal, and let the other guys (my tongue, fingers, the whole team) do their thing.
JB: Good point, but some penises are so into answering the call that they start obsessing when they, pardon the expression, fall short. I’ve heard more than one vagina express this sentiment: “It’s not so much the flaccid appearance; it’s his preoccupation with it! It’s like being in a conversation with someone who is no longer listening—but only worse, it’s lonely being skin-to-skin with a penis completely into himself.”
AP: Okay, so there are mature penises, and penises that’ve aged, but not matured. No new news there.
JB: Any final words of wisdom?
AP: Sure, I have lots of wisdom to share. Here’s a sampling: On a basic level, I operate as a result of friction and fiction—physical and mental stimulation. As I get older I find I need more of both. Yeah, a little erotica now and then helps. And, I’ve become sensitive. If faced with pressure and pleasure, I will likely fall to the pressure. So, when it comes to friction and fiction, more is more, but when it comes to demands, less is more—I do better when I’m not made to feel that making love is a report card, for me or for the vagina in question. And, I confess—we don’t need to do some sex seminar on this—sometimes I’m just ot in the mood. I would never have admitted that when I was younger. Now, gotta take a leak…I think.
Joel Block, Ph.D., is a psychologist and author of nearly twenty books on relationships and sexuality. His website is www.drblock.com and he can be reached at Joel@LetLifeIn.com
Gosh, mine doesn’t talk. I hope there’s nothing wrong with me.
Steve, you get to a certain age and it’s about time you guys started a relationship…
well, i really was interested in the interview with the aging penis……i need to look back and see if it was an aging va-jay answering.
anyway, as a female, can i just interject something (no pun intended)……………
the preoccupation with firmness – size – etc – has any other female noticed that all of this viagra crap can result in something much too hard, much too big and much too LONG to climax?????? I enjoy sex but seriously speaking, there can be a point where it isn’t comfortable.
I would much rather be with a man who is sensual and there are all sorts of activities going on and if he reaches a climax quickly, well, that’s ok because it beats a raw interior for me. The likelihood is few males can last long enough for me to really “go over the top” so I can enjoy the mating process and then get completely off on my own when I wish. In the meantime, the interaction is pleasant, stimulating, sometimes very very exciting but i’ll guarantee you, if it hurts or goes on so long that i am starting to look at my watch, wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll……..GUYS, size is not everything – LASTING forever is not everything!
TJ, thank you for your thoughtful comments. I agree but…the little fun script I put together was exactly for those guys who rely on their almighty penis obsessively.
The whole point was to de-emphasize that obsession and finally realize that there’s more to lovemaking.
Again, thanks for taking an interest and wishing you lots of love (but not too hard and long) :)
Joel
Six months ago I had a penile implant due to Peyronies. It turned out great and it completely changed the way I and my wife think about sex. As I had gotten older, I developed a lot of anxiety about sex. Could I stay hard and then would I have an orgasm? Then guilt if she had not climaxed.
Since I can ‘pump it up’ any time my wife is in the mood, foreplay is fun again. I can make it hard enough to pound nails or softer and more comfortable although she really likes it hard. I take my time, enjoy the things I used to enjoy when I was 30-the textures, caresses, fragrances and just playing around. And once sex starts I concentrate on the great feeling not an orgasm. Sure an orgasm is great, but it’s not necessary anymore and even if I do, I’m not going to lose my erection. I can stay with my wife and we can play until she has an orgasm-or not depending on our mood.
I let an old doctor talk me out of an implant 5 years ago and I really regret that because it has made a world of difference to me and to my wife. If you can concentrate on the journey and not the destination, sex is much better.
My penis has never been huge and now is around 5″ now but the girth has improved impressively. The one thing guys with implants need to do is pump it up for 15 minutes every night to prevent the growth of scar tissue. Apparently the average vagina is around 3″ deep so I no longer care about a porno cock. Just wish I had gone to a younger, more progressive doctor sooner.