By Marsha Johansen
I thrive just being around new people. As an adult, I’ve always sought opportunities to meet others with similar interests in pets, art, books, politics or gourmet cooking. After living in Houston for many years as an employment counselor, wife and mother, I wanted to make new associations in a new environment.
Hardly anything in common.
As a life long “book freak”, I gravitated towards a group at the bookstore in my neighborhood. The moment I joined a local group of women from various background and cultures, my world opened up like never before. In some cases, I had nothing more in common with them other than the fact that we loved to read, but this was enough.
I really wondered what I would have in common with most of these women, of different ages and different backgrounds. I soon found a special connection that went beyond our differences to a larger awareness of all being women first, with the need to share that special bond.
It started in a book store
In this group, the books were our first friends, taking us on a new adventure, and loving us unconditionally. We met each month and dissected the how, why and where of each author, which lead to the unraveling of other subjects, near and dear to our hearts.
Instead of losing interest, as I had with other groups, I began to look forward to reading books from authors I wouldn’t have given a second glance to on my own. One of the benefits of a book group was just reaching out to new and different people, those that I wouldn’t normally even give the time of day to in a different setting.
Stimulating connections
The connection on an intellectual level each month is both stimulating and inspiring. I realized that at my age, my brain needed the stimulation of discussing subjects which ranged from transgender issues to grieving for a lost spouse and putting your life back together.
Searching for greater meaning
I felt somehow that this need to connect was linked to people searching for greater meaning to their lives in reaching out to others. Our world has changed so dramatically in the past five years, with uncertainty and stress to deal on a daily basis. To juggle work and family simultaneously is often a struggle, not allowing for any extra time to develop our own interests. Some manage to steal some precious time to work on their own goals, apart from their families, at a higher level.
Friends rather than acquaintances
To name a few of the women I now can call my friends rather than acquaintances, they are Gretchen, Barb and Patty. Gretchen was transferred with a major petrochemical firm, and thriving in her role as a mother, a human resource professional and an artist. She and I found a spiritual bond that still exists to this day because of our respect for one another’s dreams and ambitions.
Talking about everything
Then there was Barb, who told us of her struggle to find her long, lost brothers through the Internet, after many years of being apart from her family. They were separated when both her parents died, and as a single woman in her late 40′s, she wanted the relationship she ever experienced as a child. Barb and I can now talk about anything from dysfunctional families to healthy living through organic foods.
Patty was a successful writer on the brink of being published, who seemed to have it all. She had a continuous thirst for knowledge and truth in expression as I’ve never seen expressed by a woman in her 50′s. She was involved in public speaking, recycling in her community, and the need to help women express their deep desires to achieve their dreams on a much higher level.
Bye bye book store
Eventually, all three of us branched off from this original group and formed our own discussion group. We wanted to be heard in a social setting, rather than the book store, and proceeded to recruit new members into this new format. This was even more exciting, because we met at the members’ homes or dined at restaurants, which gave us new scenery, good food and drink, in addition to stimulating conversation about books and other topics close to our lives.
Influencing my life
All of these women influence my life in a positive way. When I’m feeling low, I can call them or e-mail them, and they know how to bring me up and inspire me to do great things with my day. When my dog Otis died last year, they found the time to comfort me and help me through the difficult grieving period because they each have a fondness for pets of their own.
Reaching out to each other
Now, four years later, we still meet once a month to discuss books, but also as friends who know each other on a more intimate level. We talk about all subjects close to our hearts, the difficulties of being a woman in today’s corporate world to taking care of our aging parents, to caring for our grandchildren. Somehow, it all connects to the books we read each month. Many of us can’t reach out to anyone like we do to each other and it’s very satisfying to know we can just connect at any given time.
Following my spirit
I took a chance in reaching out because of my love of books, and have been lucky. Having no idea where these relationships would go, I followed my spirit, as well as my heart. As you might suppose, the love of people combined with the love of books was a winning combination. <<
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