By Gary Geyer and Linda Meyers
What’s Your Fantasy?
We are happy to report that many (most?) of us in the 50+ age group are active physically and mentally — so says our small, (but select) group. Most said that their bodies may not be what they used to be but their minds were still very much alive and kicking. Their sex-lives, at least in their fantasies, haven’t missed a beat. (Interestingly, practically all the participants said they preferred to keep their fantasies private and not share them with their partner.)
Editor’s note: This article was supposed to be a forum not a survey. We asked a number of men and women (17), ages 52—68, if they would be willing to discuss their sex fantasies within a group setting. Most said they would not have a problem, being adults and all.
To make a long story short, it didn’t work. When it came time to let it all hang out, so to speak, just about all chickened out. They were like giggly school kids saying naughty words.
Plan B
We found it was much easier for all concerned to do interviews one-on-one. I interviewed the men and Linda Meyers, one of our staff writers, interviewed the women.
What follows are our findings. Keep in mind this was a small group and that it may or may not represent all men and women in the 50+ age segment: In no particular order, the fantasies are:
1. Sex with someone else
The fantasy that came up most often was making love with someone who was not their spouse or usual partner. A neighbor or fellow worker was mentioned several times and also “sexy” celebrities (George Clooney, Richard Gere, Kathleen Turner and Sharon Stone.)
2. So-called Illicit sex
These fantasies included having sex with someone they “shouldn’t being have sex with.” Someone from another race, or a friend’s or relative’s spouse was mentioned several times.
3. Making love in a romantic setting
This fantasy was much more prevalent among the women. Soft music, candle lit rooms and tropical islands were mentioned. Some of the older men we interviewed mentioned this as well.
4. Group sex
Men were definitely more interested in group sex than women. Ages didn’t seem to matter. The fantasy of a situation where there was one man (the one fantasizing) and several women was the most mentioned.
5. Sex with the possibility of being discovered
This fantasy was mentioned by a few of the older men (none of the women). They said that this was the kind of thing they might have felt guilty about when they were younger, but now seemed exciting.
6. Watching others or being watched
Exhibitionistic and voyeuristic fantasies seemed to occur more, they said, as they got older. This is especially true for men. Internet pornography has definitely had an effect they said. One man had the fantasy of watching other men having sex with his wife.
7. Sex against their will
This was mentioned by both men and women. They were careful to point out that they did not mean rape. It was more like being “made to enjoy” something they might not ordinarily do.
8. Spontaneous sex
This fantasy is about chance encounters and instant attraction. Two strangers meet. No talking, no foreplay — just hot sex and simultaneous orgasms – Slam bam… <<
Your turn
Gary Geyer is editor -in-chief of LetLifeIn.com
Linda Meyers is a LetLifeIn.com staff writer
As a one time sex worker, I think perhaps I am more open about sexual fantasies than many women my age.
I have always enjoyed fantasies of being watched, which includes being watched when I masturbate. I often have fantasies of being spanked, and yes, I do have fantasies of rape.
Having learned in my life that I am not unique, I take exception with number seven. Many women and I’m sure some men have a fantasies that involves rape. It is never of course one that is truly dangerous or performed by an unattractive rapist.