By Joanne R.

When I’m having sex with a man, nothing bugs me more than when he acts like he’s in virgin territory. (No pun intended.) You would think that after a guy gets past a certain age, like fifty or so, he would know how to make love to a woman’s body.

I can’t stand it when a guy, sexually, doesn’t know his ass from his elbow. Or, more to the point, my ass from my elbow.

Various Techniques

Some men seem to be tip-toeing around my body with their fingers, afraid to awaken the sensual parts. Others grope around as if they are trying to find their keys in the dark. I find myself lying there hoping and praying it will be over soon. Judging from the sounds some men make, they seem to be having a blast. I think they think since they are enjoying it, I must be too.

A Few Questions

And then there are the guys who do know what they are doing, but are not sure they do. They need to be reassured every minute that they are doing whatever they are doing, right. “How is that?” Or, “Does that feel good?” Even when they get the answer they’re hoping for, the questions persist. “Do you like that?” “How about this?” “Am I hurting you?” For crying out loud. Just shut up!

Experience vs. No Experience

The fact is, more men than you think are not that experienced. If they married young and are now widowed or divorced, it’s surprising how few sexual partners they have actually had. Some men, even if they have had a lot if experience, their previous partners may have been too demanding or overly critical. (Not necessarily just in bed, but all of the time.) They may have left him traumatized and unsure of himself. The guy may be thinking that he never can please a woman. Needless to say, with him it’s not, “Damn the Torpedoes, Full speed ahead!”

Mother Knows Best

It’s a cliché, but many men from our generation have guilt issues scrambling up their heads. Maybe an overly protective mother in the back of his mind telling him he shouldn’t be doing “any of those dirty things”, especially if he isn’t married. Or asking what kind of a woman would let you do all those nasty things to her.

You’d think by this time they would be passed all that. When I was younger maybe I had more patience. Or I enjoyed being a teacher, I don’t know.

Some Advice to Men over 50

So here’s what I suggest. Go to a big bookstore. They all have a sexuality section these days. Browse through or better still, buy one of those advice books with diagrams and illustrations. “one that discusses anatomy and sex frankly.” (Really, the 22 years old sales clerk could care less).

And maybe practice on a younger woman. <<

Joanne R. prefers to remain anonymous