http://www.letlifein.com/2009/01/14/5-ways-to-conquer-empty-nest-syndrome/ 50 plus Community & Magazine Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:55:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.1 http://www.letlifein.com/2009/01/14/5-ways-to-conquer-empty-nest-syndrome/#comment-1893 debbieblue66 Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:22:31 +0000 http://www.letlifein.com/2009/01/14/5-ways-to-conquer-empty-nest-syndrome/#comment-1893 I know how you feel. I am going through something similar except my daughter hasn't spoken to me in almost 7 months. She moved out, left a note in April and I haven't seen her since. She's 19, and we were fighting a lot before she moved out. I was having a hard time with the transition of her being a child to being an adult. I know she didn't like my house rules. I miss her every day. She went to live with her father. He and I don't talk to each other. He helped her move out and no one was home. My daughter still visits my parents and talks to them. They have tried to get her to talk to me, but she won't. So not only do I have empty nest syndrome, its compounded with my only child not speaking to me. We did have a great relationship until she graduated high school. All of a sudden she had this attitude "I'm 18, I'm an adult and I can do what I want." I had to go through my first family vacation without her (my stepson lives with us) and that was so hard. I missed her on my birthday, and Mother's day. I sometimes sit in her room and cry. It was hard enough she moved out, but she did it with no warning. I never got to say goodbye. I hope I see her for Christmas. So I know what you are going through. Just try to keep yourself busy, join a club or some kind of activity. Go out with friends...I started taking night classes so that keeps me busy. Keep your spirit up, I blamed myself but realized that I have no control over this situation. She holds the cards, and hopefully one day she will be ready to see me again. I know how you feel. I am going through something similar except my daughter hasn’t spoken to me in almost 7 months. She moved out, left a note in April and I haven’t seen her since. She’s 19, and we were fighting a lot before she moved out. I was having a hard time with the transition of her being a child to being an adult. I know she didn’t like my house rules. I miss her every day.
She went to live with her father. He and I don’t talk to each other. He helped her move out and no one was home. My daughter still visits my parents and talks to them. They have tried to get her to talk to me, but she won’t. So not only do I have empty nest syndrome, its compounded with my only child not speaking to me. We did have a great relationship until she graduated high school. All of a sudden she had this attitude “I’m 18, I’m an adult and I can do what I want.” I had to go through my first family vacation without her (my stepson lives with us) and that was so hard. I missed her on my birthday, and Mother’s day. I sometimes sit in her room and cry. It was hard enough she moved out, but she did it with no warning. I never got to say goodbye. I hope I see her for Christmas.
So I know what you are going through. Just try to keep yourself busy, join a club or some kind of activity. Go out with friends…I started taking night classes so that keeps me busy. Keep your spirit up, I blamed myself but realized that I have no control over this situation. She holds the cards, and hopefully one day she will be ready to see me again.

]]> http://www.letlifein.com/2009/01/14/5-ways-to-conquer-empty-nest-syndrome/#comment-1806 Maggie Fri, 17 Jul 2009 03:16:51 +0000 http://www.letlifein.com/2009/01/14/5-ways-to-conquer-empty-nest-syndrome/#comment-1806 I think these suggestions overlook one thing...that when our adult children move far enough away so that we don't see them for very long periods of time, it is NOT about finding interests and hobbies. It is a grieving process. My son had moved back for a while and had a job and was going for his MBA when suddenly on Christmas day he told me that he was leaving because he had lost his job due to layoffs and thus his education was a no go as well. he left two days later on impulse and I have not seen him in over 6 months and doubt he will move anywhere close again. We always got along very well and so I grieve. I waited for 7 years for him to decide where he wanted to be and he said it was near us then withing three days , it was over. I am active and have lots to do. I am not bored nor did I veer think of myself only as a mother. I didn't even have children until I was 34. When my sons (the other one lives 20 minutes away and I am fine with that)were in their young teens, I had to take care of my mom and my aunt and I feel I wasn't mentally there as much as I wanted to be. I had no problem when they left for college but that first summer when my son did not come home at all,it began. So no, these suggestions won;t help. Been there, done that. I must grieve the loss of the society of my son (as the lawyers call it) and I must do the stages and if things change, it may start all over again. There is no way to avoid it. It is grief, not a lack of things to do. Since my husband knew my son was leaving and didn't tell me, there is trust lost there as well. I have to deal with it. But let us not forget that we lose the association of our best friends and that means we grieve. I think these suggestions overlook one thing…that when our adult children move far enough away so that we don’t see them for very long periods of time, it is NOT about finding interests and hobbies. It is a grieving process. My son had moved back for a while and had a job and was going for his MBA when suddenly on Christmas day he told me that he was leaving because he had lost his job due to layoffs and thus his education was a no go as well. he left two days later on impulse and I have not seen him in over 6 months and doubt he will move anywhere close again. We always got along very well and so I grieve. I waited for 7 years for him to decide where he wanted to be and he said it was near us then withing three days , it was over. I am active and have lots to do. I am not bored nor did I veer think of myself only as a mother. I didn’t even have children until I was 34. When my sons (the other one lives 20 minutes away and I am fine with that)were in their young teens, I had to take care of my mom and my aunt and I feel I wasn’t mentally there as much as I wanted to be. I had no problem when they left for college but that first summer when my son did not come home at all,it began. So no, these suggestions won;t help. Been there, done that. I must grieve the loss of the society of my son (as the lawyers call it) and I must do the stages and if things change, it may start all over again. There is no way to avoid it. It is grief, not a lack of things to do. Since my husband knew my son was leaving and didn’t tell me, there is trust lost there as well. I have to deal with it. But let us not forget that we lose the association of our best friends and that means we grieve.

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