By Beth Q. Beck, EdD

“Imagine a 2:30 a.m. phone call from a local law enforcement officer, ‘Can you come and pick up your grandchildren? We have arrested both of their parents for drug involvement.

‘This action has left your three grandchildren, Janet, age 6, and the twins, Michael and Mary, age 2, without a home. You’re the only safe relative identified to take the children….immediately. If you don’t, they will go into emergency foster care in different homes. They may be separated from you and each other, and you may lose any future control over what happens to them* (Adapted from The Central Coast Children’s Foundation, Inc).

ADD TO THIS, THE FOLLOWING: You are a 58-year-old widow living in a one-bedroom apartment.

No bed of roses

Here are some of the challenges in raising grandchildren:

Questions immediately arise: How will you feed them, house them, and find child care while you’re at work? What are your legal rights? The problems may multiply when you discover the children have no medical insurance and they’re having trouble at school. Predictably, the children may have emotional problems stemming from neglect or even abuse. They may miss and grieve being without their parents.

If this were you, what would you do and how would you feel?

If you are like most grandparents, you would say, “Bring them over” or “Let me come and get them.” Why…because those children are ours, because we have an obligation as family members, because we love them.

Grandparent caregivers are found in all socio-economic groups, all religions, and all races and ethnic groups.

Many carry the primary responsibility for their grandchildren’s basic needs. That means providing for the food, clothing, shelter, medical care, teaching, and nurturing in all of its aspects for these grandchildren.

Sometimes, the grandchildren come with their parents who have lost jobs or are going through a divorce. Oftentimes, the parents are not functioning well in the adult world.

Dramatic changes in your life

In any case, when you take in grandchildren, everything changes — including relationships with your other children and grandchildren, with your marriage, with your social life, and with your priorities.

Why is this happening?

There are several causes with the greatest being alcohol or drug abuse. Other reasons include unemployment, child abuse and/or neglect, incarceration, teenage pregnancy, parental mental health issues, death of a parent, family violence, HIV/AIDS, and/or poverty.

Kinship care has grown dramatically across the nation. Mostly this is due to the increasing numbers of young parents involved in substance abuse. In some states it can be directly linked to the growing number of women who are hooked on Methamphetamine (Meth).

X-rated lives

Substance abuse renders parents unable to provide the care children need. Their children are exposed to X-rated lives, with sexual abuse and criminal activity being common. Many children of substance abusing parents are neglected, without adequate food, clothing, or medical care. Many do not attend school on a regular basis. Often the older children take care of the younger children, and sometimes they take care of their inebriated or “high” parents.

Grave concerns

The impact of substance abuse on children and families is a cause of grave concern for governmental authorities. Pediatricians, church leaders, and teachers see it and don’t know what to do. When it happens in our own families, we cannot turn away. This why grandparents step in and rescue the children, in spite of the difficulties encounted and despite putting their own lives on hold.

Limited services

Unfortunately, there are limited services for kinship families. However, in 2002 the Children’s Service Society, (located in Salt Lake City, Utah,) began a program called Grandfamilies to help caregivers and the relative’s children they are raising. Grandfamilies offers classes, support groups, children’s groups, family activities, community advocacy, crisis counseling, assistance obtaining community resources, a monthly newsletter, relative adoptions, and counseling. Services are free to all interested.

I have been invited to share my experience on kinship care as former director of the Children’s Service Society and as a kinship caregiver myself. Hopefully my first-hand experience will give support and insight to grandparents who are providing kinship care for their grandchildren and who may need some insights to help in this endeavor.

Dr. Beth Beck is the former director of the Children’s Service Society of Utah.