Before an emergency joint session of congress yesterday, President Bush announced his plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. “The vowel deployment, the first in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O,and U and will enable countless Bosnian names more pronounceable,” emphasized Mr. Bush.

“For years we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by me as well as millions around the world,” Bush said. “Today, the United States must finally stand up and say ‘Enough!’ It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The U.S. is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavor and we hope other counties will follow our lead.”

The deployment, dubbed “Operation Vowel Storm” by Mr. Bush is scheduled, with congress’s approval, to begin as early as next week, with the cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients.  Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of “E’s,” will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.

Citizens of Grzny and Sjbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels. “I do not think we can hold out for another day,” Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said. “I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or anyone else. Mr. Bush, please send my poor, wretched family just one “E.”

Said Sjbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: “With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This is my dream.”

The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letters to a foreign country since 2003 when Dick Cheney advised the president to declare war on under-lettered languages. During the summer of that year, Congress unanimously approved Mr. Bush’s recommendation  to ship 92,000 consonants, both upper and lower case, to Eithiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoasa, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L’s, S’s and T’s.

“We are fixing alphabets there so we won’t have to do it here,” said Mr. Bush.