By Debby Merickel

What will the neighbors say? Is your husband going golfing in Scotland without you? And you’re going to Vegas with your girlfriends? Is your marriage over?

Does compromise work?

Compromise is certainly a worthwhile attribute but, year after year, spending your vacation funds on something neither of you is totally crazy about doesn’t make a lot of sense. One could always alternate years choosing to do it your way this time and his the next year. Perhaps you really love spending 24-7 with each other and can’t envision time apart. However, with the plethora of incredible holidays available today I can’t imagine the two of you aren’t at least enticed by the possibility of going it alone.

Our last vacation together

The last vacation I took with my husband was the year we both turned 40. His idea of escape was to stay at a lovely hotel in the tropics where he could bask all day with someone waiting on him. I wanted to explore, to go, to see new things and soak it all in while moving from one spot to another.

My way and the highway

Finally I had convinced him to try it my way and we were off to discover England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland. We stayed in a castle, a flat and a few B&B’s. My most distinct memory is of me prodding him to walk along the Cam River outside of Cambridge on our way to a country pub. It was raining, well pouring, at times. He grudgingly noted that even the cows knew enough to huddle together and seek shelter.

Yes, it was our last vacation together, partly because we got divorced a few years later.

On the other hand…

One of my sisters thinks that separate vacations have saved her marriage. Her husband has been taking motorcycle trips with his buddies at least 2 times a year for all 22 years of their time together.

She doesn’t just sit at home waiting for him to call; she’s off to Africa, to Nice or to some city with a famous hairdresser waiting to cut her hair. It’s not that they won’t travel together, they manage some of those as well, but they don’t feel guilty about pursuing their individual dreams.

Girlfriend getaways

There is a whole new catalog of “girlfriend getaways” from pampering spa trips to cruises. These vacations usually highlight the renewal, recharging and bonding opportunities to lessen the guilt one might feel when first considering such an idea. It is not a new phenomenon for men as they have been doing the hunting, fishing or sports based escapes for a long time.

You know what they say…

Take the plunge. You may return as happy fulfilled relaxed travelers anxious to share both the excitement and the cure for homesickness. Another old adage, absence makes the heart grow fonder, was meant for just this type of journey! <<

Debby Merickel is putting the finishing touches on her book– a travelogue called “The Misadventures of an Aging Globetrotter.”