By Greg Tamblyn

I boarded a flight home from San Francisco to Kansas City and found a real party going on back in coach. Everybody seemed to know each other and they were all roaming around the cabin, laughing, talking, and generally having a great time. It turned out they were mostly pharmaceutical reps from the west coast on their way to K.C. for a convention. I remember thinking there must have been a lot of free samples being passed around.

The token nerd

I was trapped in a middle seat, and after an hour in the midst of the frivolity, I was feeling like the token nerd at a fraternity party.
Then the woman next to me, still relatively sober at this point, turned and made an astute observation.

She said, “You’re not part of this group, are you?” I told her no, and she asked, “So why are you going to Kansas City?

 ”I said, “Well, I live there.”

“Really!” she exclaimed, and her eyes opened wide. “You know, I grew up in New York City and I’ve lived my whole adult life in San Francisco, and when I think about somebody living in Kansas, it just sounds painful to me.”

Painful Kansas?

Painful. That was the word she used. I’ve noticed we Kansans get this a lot. In the movie Dr. No, for example, Dr. No tells James Bond, “The satellite is at present over Kansas. Well, if we destroy Kansas the world may not hear about it for years.”

Exotic Kansas

People just don’t seem to link up Kansas with the word “exotic.” But that’s because they just don’t know. They haven’t been there.
Twenty years or so ago, when I was still singing in bars and hotels, I got hired to do sort of a Holiday Inn circuit around Kansas. I played in places like Great Bend, Hutchinson, Hayes, Salina, Dodge City, and Wichita.

 I got to see Kansas the way few people do: up close and personal. And I discovered Kansas has stuff that’s just as cool and exotic as anywhere else, if you know where to look.

The World’s Largest Ball of Twine. Believe it!

For example, over in Cawker City, we have the World’s Largest Ball of Twine. And it’s still growing. As of this writing it’s more than 12 ft in diameter and weighs as much as several elephants (17,801 lbs). That amounts to more than seven million feet of twine. It’s enough to stretch from Cawker City to the Ripley’s Believe-It-Or-Not Museums in Orlando, San Antonio, or San Francisco.

The Museum of Independent Telephony.

But that’s not all. Back east a little bit in Abilene (home of some
guy named Dwight Eisenhower), we have the Museum of Independent Telephony. Now, I know a lot of you have been wondering if there even was a museum of independent telephony, and if so, where it might be. Well, good news: it’s right here in Kansas.

The World’s Deepest Hand Dug Well. 

Southwest of there in Greensburg is the World’s Deepest Hand Dug Well. Maybe you can’t see it from space like the Great Wall, but still, some cowboys dug a long time on that thing. Over a year, in fact. It’s 109 feet deep and 32 feet wide, and sits just a stone’s throw away from the World’s Fourth-Largest Pallasite Meteorite. (1,000 lbs.)

The One and Only Barbed Wire Museum

For all you agricultural types, over in LaCrosse we have the one and only Barbed Wire Museum. My guess is that most of you probably didn’t even know there was more than one kind of barbed wire. Well guess what? There are over 2,000. See, you just learned something. And you haven’t even been there yet.

The Garden of Eden in Cement

In Lucas, Kansas, there is — honest to God — a sculpture of the Garden of Eden which takes up an entire acre. Not only that, it’s made totally and completely, 100% out of cement. 2,273 bags to be exact. Nowhere else in the world can you see that. Only in Kansas.

Home of the Giant Prairie Dog

There’s also a wonderful attraction out west in Oakley called Prairie Dog Town, “Home of the Giant Prairie Dog.” According to the brochure, you can “See Animals Not In The Zoo, and Many More!” (Okay, so maybe we’re not great copywriters in Kansas, but we have neat stuff.)

 Larry’s Lawn Ornaments and Cheese Shop.

 But truth be told, the best place I found in all this roaming around
was just across the state line outside Clinton, Missouri. It’s called
“Larry’s Lawn Ornaments and Cheese Shop.”

You have to admit, it takes a rare kind of genius to find two things that go together as well as lawn ornaments and cheese. “Hey, that’s a great little birdbath you picked out there. How about a nice sharp cheddar to go with it!”

See, with the right attitude you can have fun just about anywhere.
Even in Kansas. <<

Greg Tamblyn, NCW (No Credentials Whatsoever.) has been a successful singer, songwriter, speaker, and humorist for over 20 years. His messages of optimism, service, and kindness, have garnered him a large international following.