By Gary Geyer

The information in this article was acquired from the book “Sex Over 50” by Dr. Joel Block.

By Gary Geyer

Once we are past 50, we either consider ourselves experts on sex or think ‘if we haven’t figured it out by now, we probably never will’.

Well, just the fact that you are reading this articles shows that you believe you’re never too old learn something about yourself and there’s still some life in you lurking about.

There’s no doubt that sex after 50 is a little different than sex in our twenties and thirties. The problem is that we have a lot of preconceived ideas of what it should or shouldn’t be. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of mis-information zooming around our brains that muddies the water.

Here’s a list of 10 true or false questions that will reveal what you know or don’t know about sex after 50. Try to answer them all before scrolling down to see if you were right.

1. A man’s sexual peek is in his late teens.

2. A woman’s sexual peek is in her thirties.

3. After 50, not only does the quantity of sex decline but so does the quality.

4. Erection problems require medical attention.

5. After menopause, sexual desire decrease dramatically.

6. A sign of non-arousal is insufficient lubrication for women and erections that aren’t immediate for men.

7. If a man is not visually excited by his partner it will be difficult to make love to her.

8. The intensity of orgasms decline as we grow older.

9. Sex without intercourse is really not sex.

10. Sex without orgasm can be detrimental.

Answers

1. False: It is true that men in their late teens have firmer erections and can achieve them more quickly than men past 50. The good news is that a man does not reach his sexual peak until he has ejaculatory control and knows how to please his partner in more ways than intercourse. That’s much more likely to occur when he is past 50 than it is when he is eighteen and nineteen.
2. False: It is true that sex does get better when a woman is in her thirties. But her level of responsiveness does not decline as she gets older. She is usually more confident in her lovemaking and orgasmic capacity and her ability to have multiple orgasms remains undiminished.
3. False: There’s no doubt that sexual responses are different after 50. That’s different - not worse! A man’s erection may not be as hard as they were when he was younger but he’s able to maintain it longer. He also discovers how to use his semi-hard erection to tease and stimulate. He can learn to enjoy the build-up of sexual tension as well as use the extra time to bring his partner to orgasm before intercourse. He also learns to enjoy the physical sensations throughout his body and begins to realize that he is a sexual being, not just a penis looking to explode.

Women in their thirties are more comfortable taking the sexual initiative than when they were younger. That comfort level increase even more as she gets older. A woman’s hormone balance changes as she approaches 40 and that in turn, increases her libido and her orgasms.

Emotional maturity and self confidence are more prevalent the time a couple reaches their fifties. That definitely makes the possibility of a more intimate relationship a reality. The quality of sex after 50 not only improves but remains high for years to come.
4. False: Very few men, by the time they reach 40, have not experienced occasional “erectile dysfunction”. The trouble starts when we confuse natural physiological change with “having a problem”. No man’s penis gets as hard when he’s in his fifties as it does when he is nineteen. So what? Products like Viagra can revive a man’s confidence and get him back on track. Healthy, physically and sexually active men can continue to have erections into old age - without medical attention.
5. False: On the contrary. Many woman experience increased sexual desire during menopause. Lack of desire can be attributed to many things: depression, relationship difficulties and of course, that old standby, stress. If there is less sexual interest after menopause it can usually attributed to hormonal imbalance or just plain old negative thinking.
6. False: It comes down to this: Insufficient lubrication is most likely caused by hormonal changes - not lack of desire. The situation is easily corrected by the use of lubricants or hormone creams.

For men over 50, desire doesn’t always lead to an immediate erection. Some men say that they can feel desire throughout their bodies - not just their penises.
7. False: We’ll tell it to you straight. The older a man gets the less likely he is to get an erection just by looking at someone sexy. But that does not mean he isn’t interested in having sex with her. Around the ages of 35 - 40, most men need direct physical stimulation to get an erection. If a man past 50 has some difficulty performing it may be because his feelings and emotions get in his way - something that rarely happened when he was young.
8. False: Not only is that not true, many women say their orgasms have become more intense after turning 40. Men notice that the force in which they ejaculate isn’t as forceful as it was when they were younger but the orgasm is not just in their penises - its felt in other parts of the body, including the entire genital area.
9. False: May be Bill Clinton, it’s not, but for everyone else it is. Sex encompasses all the ways men and women can devise to give each other sexual pleasure. By the time a man reaches 50, he likes to be touched, kissed and caressed as much as a woman does. Sex involves oral, manual and even verbal stimulation. And it always doesn’t have to end in orgasm.
10. False: Please remember for your own pleasure - sex does not have to be the goal. I think it was a cruise line that said it first - Getting there can be half the fun. Try this just for fun: Deliberately make love without reaching orgasm. It will intensify the experience when you do have one. <<

The information in this article was acquired from the book “Sex Over 50” by Dr. Joel Block.

Gary Geyer is Editor-in-Chief of LetLifeIn.com (Editor@LetLifeIn.com) as well as editor of the Issues & Controversies section. Reach him at Gary@LetLifeIn.com.